Happenings..

Stars.. and a story..

2011-05-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

Btw.. am just writing.. for the sake of writing.. this might contain many flawed logic but i don't care and you also shouldn't :)

There was once a star.. it was born on a very auspicious day (can we even define days and night before the star is born?.. ignore.. tangential crap) .. so the star was born and it was considered lucky for its entire galaxy.. everybody celebrated.. a new name was given to the star and pretty soon few loyal planets started revolving around.. it looked like a happy cosmos from a few distant light years.. all was well..

The star.. just grew up in the initial years.. in those formative years, it had no control over its life and even if it had.. it didn't care... but things changed.. it grew up in power and was now on its own.. it had to decide.. when to do what..

Decisions.. there were decisions to be taken.. and there were those loyal planets.. who were always supportive of the star and would help it by giving the counter-view..

So when the sun thought that it should burn a little less.. the planets would say that what's the use of burning lesser than your capability.. stars are born to burn and the brightest stars are the one's those are always talked about.. your name, your fame, all that is dependent on how bright are you, if you burn brightly, we will also get brighter by your shine and radiance.. it is such an stupid question to ask.. duh.. you silly..

So the star would think that it should burn as bright as it should.. and the planets would react.. oh my god.. this star is so stupid.. it could live an entire lifetime of relaxed life.. why the hell is it burning itself off.. causing danger to the planets who are close to it and also decreasing its own lifetime.. there are so many side-effects of burning bright.. you most probably will be out of fuel pretty soon and then you dim yourself to become just another black hole.. you will then suck everything into you.. planets those are close to you would die such a horrible death.. duh.. you silly..

Stepping up

2010-07-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

I never had the 'coming of age' ceremony. I never took care of household things. I never cared about relatives or relationships. Never did I decide on my own on what to gift or what not to gift. I still don't know what is the single word for the relationship between me and my dad's elder aunt's husband's brother.

And suddenly.. I have to know everything.. everything that my parents were supposed to be knowing... whoa.. this is supposed to be the worst kept expectation of any kind from anyone.. but still everybody just assumes that I am ready.. and in case I falter.. its my own fault..

To Bhaiya.. why does our parents treat us like this.. (or maybe only mine did).. that till a certain age.. all that I need to worry about is study.. in case.. even by mistake if I utter a word about something else.. its blasphemy.. I should repent it and am never supposed to do that mistake ever again.. and man.. Indian parents are tough!! they just always have the reasons for everything that they do.. and all the counter arguments by the little children are totally wrong.. whatever be the case.. (not even little children.. but even when you are adults and want to chose someone ;)..)

All this makes it so difficult for such children to be more aware, more open and more receptive to the nuances of relationships.. to understand the subtle human psyche.. psyche of how & why one starts a connection.. nurtures it.. and then finally exits it.. to understand the weird various levers of tuning relationships.. conveying messages indirectly.. subtly taking stands..

sigh.. the world is so simple and so beautiful when we are *just* kids

2008-05-31T21:56:00.000-07:00

A strange dream..
I receive an e-mail from a great person..(great person in the organization) someone named "vallerine" something written about this great dude..

then I start talking to a stranger about my project.. wht i hv been doin.. and he looked impresed..
as usual i don't get his name. While leaving, I again ask him, and he says "vallerine".. !!

and then when i open google in the morning as soon as I wake up and search for vallerine (what I really thought is a strange name that I haven't heard) the results show that it is a real "surname". People with this name exist !!

maybe I will have this event as a deja vu in my life.. I have a deja vu on everystep that I take... it seems that the match is fixed !!

summer deja vu

2008-05-12T03:36:00.000-07:00

I did it this time instantly.. I am writing the event.. I have never done this before...
Here I am.. in office 4.07 pm
working my team.. and I have the deja vu.

Update (29th May): I return from office. My internship is finished as I did the final presentation today. Totally exhausted I am sitting in the central park of the building complex where my apartment is. Talking with friends..
A gate with a glowing clock hanging on it. Three buildings with a specific pattern of lighting on them. Turn right and the small platform and the pathway. Turn left and the entire glimpse gave me again the eerie feeling of deja vu...

I will try to capture them as often I have them.. this topic is really interesting.. I want to work on this once I retire.. and I hope that it should be pretty early in my life.

Everybody's Job

2007-12-03T12:33:00.000-08:00

In one of the MBA classes.. (taught by one of the gawd profs..)

Once upon a time there were four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about this, because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

In the end Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place.

This week...

2007-10-31T07:42:00.000-07:00

some sound..
who's that..
phone.. ?
clock 1...??
clock 2..??
the laptop..
snooze..
5 mins..
same sound...
shit....... 9:00 pm
12 hours to next exam.. !!!!!!
relax.... 12 hours...
outlook.. dc.. orkut.. gmail..
room 1215, 1212, 1211, 1201, 1204...
11:00 PM... stomach... dinner..... !!!
still 9 hours left..
movie... not at all.. no time for it...
ok.. short movie.. but must be less than 2hrs.. NOOO
ok.. some old movie.. vlc.. ALT + right arrow key
satisfaction..
8 hours... its running out..
damn.. what's the course....
shit.. what's the subject..!!
OK... 1212.. room of know it all...
damn...!! when did these guys teach so much.... !!!!! was i sleeping in every class?
tighten up the belt..
maybe i can take a 5 mins nap..
NOOOO... get going.. 7 hours remaining..
looks like mt. everest..
me still at base camp..!!
knock knock..
room 1212,..
a quick remedial session... oxygen.. life support..
feel better...
5.30 hours to go..
..lights off...
vague dreams...
someone's shouting..
who's that..
phone.. ?
clock 1...??
clock 2..
snooze..
NO....... its 8:00 am
relax... its 8:00 am
revision of remedial session..
30 mins to go..
damn.... if I don't enter by 8:55.... next chance will be at 9:30
pen.... specs.. another pen.. lock... keys.. lock again... calculator..
walk... run.. mess.. gobble anything.. 8:53am.. I am saved..
9:00 I am doomed...
when did these guys teach so much.. !!!
1212 resident is also wondering the same..
time flies... me along with it..
everybody put your pen down
gone.. screwed.. royally screwed.. shit faced.. return to 1215..
new resolution.. determination..
lunch.. evil desire... no I have to study.. my resoution..
zzzzzzz........
sleep is the pill for all pains..
some sound..
who's that..
phone.. ?
clock 1...??
clock 2..??
the laptop..
snooze..
5 mins..
disturbance..
shit....... 9:00 pm
12 hours to next exam.. !!!!!!

Reloaded

2007-02-18T06:41:00.000-08:00

Happy moments pass by very quickly. :)
And hence I am back after a short and great weekend. During these 1.5 days I did lots of shopping. :D
Now, I have only two days to finish my work at office as I am going on a leave afterwards. Implications: I am leaving for my office right now, on a sunday night, after 5 hours of boring journey. :(

Home Sweet home..

2007-02-15T10:11:00.000-08:00

Just one and a half months, but I feel like it has been ages. I had been to my home in the end of December and, believe me, many things have happened since then. This period was very happening and ofcourse I truly enjoyed being a part of it. I had friends visiting from faroff places, I had awesome new year celebrations and I can never forget the wonderful new year surprise gifts. However, I now feel that all this was a distant past.

And home!! when was the last time I was there? Definitely I was not there on my Dad's b'day; I was also not there on my Mom's b'day; I was not seen celebrating Makar sankranti with them and nor was I flying kites from my home. I was not there when we all started writing '2007' in the dates. And not even when mobile subscribers in our family grew by 200%. Has it been a long time? I feel so, and yes, I am right.

Tomorrow.. oops its today (12 baj gaye hai) in evening I will be heading to my sweet home. Two days of replenishing visit (1.5 days to be precise). I will be away from being "Kashyap" and become once again only Rajat. I am coming. Home Sweet home. :)

I know...... I have been here... (edited.. )

2006-07-12T05:30:00.000-07:00

I am not a future teller.. but then do I have future vision.. maybe yes.. maybe no.. just the dreams.. as I can't tell in advance untill that particular event has occured.. and suddenly.. I just know it by myself.. I have been here.. I have seen all this before..

Lets see since when I remember..

It may have happened to any of us.. but in my case it is very often and almost at every milestone of my life that simply leaves me flabbergasted..

And to more astonishment I don't know why I can clearly visualize what I had seen before (in my case always in my dreams).. to the very details..

I was a dull kid in my Ist class.. stood in twenties in a class of 50 odd.. And then when I was taking the first prize in class II standing in front of the audience.. bowing.. and flash......... the shot was already present in my subconscious.... I could see it distinctly... the very details...

fwd.. ffwd...
Jumped from VI to IX.. changed city.. changed medium.. changed enviro.. friends everything almost....
Rajat studying in typical resting position.. studying maths infact.. mid summers.. looks outside.. and flash........... everything seems (infact it is) like revisited..

ffwd...
Preparing for JEE (I was taking commerce earlier.. my mom persuaded me for science).... it was april.. only person on the top floor........ cooler running hard...... just came out of the room for a moment.. (I dint like coming out in summers.. never.. ) ..... flash...............

fwd....
the second day in IT-BHU sitting in mess of Limbdi hostel..... with dad...... was just about to turn to ask for aaloos.. flash........... the whole mess.. infact the just cleaned floor (with little remaining water).. the big windows.. (of exact size.... for which I deliberately looked at them).......
huh..!! did I knew I was going to clear JEE..... was going to get IT-BHU.. that too Limbdi.. so many coincidences..... it's not possible..

numerous occasions of which I don't remember.... it just comes occasionaly and than I feel like it happens with me so I just leave them to become forgotten....... these one's are when I couldn't even move myself after the incident..... just shocked.. to the very extent of mine..... ....... it can be anything.... from a persons face, to just a view of the surroundings..... to the view outside the window.... to just a pen rolling on the table....... anything..... anytime...

ffwd....
sitting... on my bed..... siva is not here....... gone to bathroom......... waving my legs......... look out of the window..... and flash............. the waving curtain.... (white with lil design).... half open window...... window as big as a gate....... the surrounding walls........ (with some soft wallpaper...) and the room heater.... all in a single photo....

today.......
I have walked many times down the stairs to my room in university...... yet again........ flash.............. the curvy stairs, the curvy metal stairs........ the curvy metal stairs with metal handrest along with it.......... the stairs with some design on foot rest through which you can see..... the gate before our room, the glass gate with metal framing before our room........ infact the look from the gate of our room and the corridor from our gate........

Is it all fixed......
then why should I think about anything...... I will achieve my destiny whatever it is.......
and later I'll think about connecting the dots looking backward (Ref: Steve Jobs' commencement address at Stanford)
or maybe some years later I'll revisit the Godfather.. and than I'll make a half stifled smile while reading the famous dialogue ...... the dialogue that defines the entire life so easily..... entire life..... "Every man has only one destiny"

P.S. : Ignore the discontinuity (even it is better sometimes than continuity :)) and Kaps.. I dint try to do it so I couldn't complete the 10 in a row.. :)
P.P.S: I added the first para next day i.e. on 13th..

The munich diary

2006-06-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

Finally I have posted something on the munich diary.. will try to update it very frequently but not sure. Just click on Munich Diary

A Train Journey. (Caution: A boring one.. )

2006-02-28T12:49:00.000-08:00

This time when I was going from Varanasi to Jaipur, I was all alone. The reason being that all my friends had left while me, remained in hostel to play Cricket and in the free time worked on my GRE.

I had a RAC ticket and when I checked my status at room it was still RAC. So I started early and reached Cantt around 2 hrs prior to departure. Once I knew that I had a confirm seat I had a natural quiery of knowing my trainmates. And to my surprise I was the only Indian in my compartment. I was wondering who all the people would be, will I talk to them or sleep all the time. With such feelings I went and took an early dinner and while coming back bought 3 books in case of unavoidable circumstances.

15 minutes before departure the first person came. Around 40, with a guitar along with him and within 10 minutes I was the only Indian left. Soon, I had with me a Canadian, an Australian, an English women, a Japanese kid and a European. Wow.. what a diversity.

And then they started chatting. For first 1 hour I read my books and didn't disturbed them, nor did they. And then I heard the word "Engineering". With this, all my senses rose. The word came from the Japanese kid and he was talking about some conference. I introduced myself and surprised him by giving details about IITM and the President's Inaugration of the Conference to which he had come to attend.
I was surprised to know that out of the whole India he had chosen two places Varanasi and Agra for his short 5 day trip which he got after the conference. On asking why? he answered that the two places famous were Sarnath and Taj Mahal and nothing comes even near them.

Slowly I told him about myself and about the single week's Japanese classes that I had attended. To my surprise, I was able to recollect my whole one week's classes and easily introduced myself in Japanese and told good morning and good bye in Japanese. He was impressed and told that Indians are really considered very advanced in Computers in their country.

Slowly I interacted with the group and came to know that the Canadian was a Manager of a company (He was dressed in rugs.. !!), the Australian is a computer professional and the English women was a writer. The European was studying something related to Mathematics/Operation Research. I was surprised to know that everybody gave the same feedback that in their opinion India was a rising star and this thought was developed only after 2000.

The English lady was too possessive about hygenic care and considered bathing in Ganges too dangerous. She talked about the Yoga workshop she attended for a week and I was surprised to know that both the Australian and Canadian did Yoga in their daily routine. The European was an interesting guy and talked about the material of the Bedding brought by him.

Everybody was amazed to find that the trains never arrived before time at any station and were usually late. They even looked amazed at the fact that trains can stop without station around it.. :) And in the morning just before Agra the unwanted happened. The train came to a halt at the Yamuna Bridge station and stood there for around 1.5 hours while everybody had to get down at the very next station just 15 minutes from there.

They talked to each other about my prediction regarding the arrival time not being earlier than 7 am (right time is 5:30 ;)) at Agra and how they will be chased by auto-rickshaw waalaas. As soon as Agra came around 10-15 people all auto-drivers rushed into our compartment and literaly held each of them for their luggage. whoooops.. it was really horrifying as I tried to look from their perspective.

Anyhow, this journey gave me a lot of learnings. Travelling is the joy of life and one should do it whenever one can.

Two kids and a Teacher.

2006-02-27T11:53:00.000-08:00

Once there were two kids,
With lots and lots of wits.
Both were lean and lank,
But they had a good think tank.

There was a teacher who taught both of them,
In his subject came a problem to them.
They were very mixed up,
As to how the machines worked up.

They knew all about the equations of motion,
They knew all about the theory of motion.
But what was motion..?
How was that motion..?

They knew how the machine rotated,
They knew how the machine started.
But why the machine rotated..?
But why the machine started..?

They knew there were windings in there,
They knew these were wires wrapped in there.
But both were very confused,
As to how the windings used..?

One fine day they went hand in hand,
They had lots of questions to end.
Excellent teacher, they both thought,
Answers, that was all they sought.

They asked and then they entered,
The teacher looked really wondered.
With lots of expectations they questioned,
But the teacher looked really flattened.

Sir, we want to have a greater insight
All we want to know is, what is inside..??
With this, they both quietly waited,
A huge machine is what they anticipated.

Teacher was fully surprised,
Such a situation, he never had exercised.
Suddenly he knew it all,
What were the boys' call.

He brought with a lot of triumph,
And placed it with a huge thump.
He had the look in his eyes,
He looked as if at new skies.

What kids had thought was a big huge motor,
To let them understand the winding and rotor.
Now the astounded kids looked at each other,
And in front of them, there laid, a mixie motor.

Seven Things....

2006-02-26T10:57:00.000-08:00

Seven things you want to do before you die:

1.Scuba diving.
2.Jump to earth from 20K feet.
3.Test the power of money against power of friendship (I haven't got money yet).
4.Build my own house (not necessarily big).
5.Fly a plane.
6.Visit to Mansarover & Laddakh.
7.Enjoy the whole world.

Seven things I can do:

1.Sleep for more than 12 hours (current record at 16 hrs.).
2.Think from other persons perspective (very few people do it..).
3.Sketching.
4.Sit in front of computer for long strecthes.
5.Arrange my room (I know I can do it now after Jan 2006).
6.Drive > 100kmph without flying. ;)
7.Sit at Jetti without work for hours.

Seven things you say most:

1.offo.
2.arrey yaar.
3.see the point is.
4.dekho, ye achchi baat nahi hai.
5.Barah baj gaye
6.Sahi mein
7.Maano ya mat maano.

Seven things you can't do:

1.Gussa with anybody for long.
2.Write long sentences of complex English.
3.Booze.
4.Sketch on my own.
5.Study or work seriously for more than a hour.
6.Watch saas bahu serials.
7.Wake up early. :(

Seven things that attract you to opposite sex:

1.Innocence.
2.Cuteness.
3.Cheeks.
4.Talking style.
5.Her laughing (dil khol ke hasne waali).
6.Way of handling disturbances (both in self and others' lives).
7.Any creative habit.

Seven celebrity crushes:

1.Madhubala
2.Alizee
3.Elisha Cuthbert
4.Rani
5.Preeti
6.Martina Hingis
7.Sonali bendre.

I won't tag anybody.. ;)

Ye duniyaa..

2005-11-13T10:52:00.000-08:00

I was just thinking about the status messages.. what a brilliant thing they are. I started noticing the world of unique, absurd and wonderful status messages and here are some of them for you.

Daily routine status
Gone for class :(
Gone for dinner
Gone to VT
come on.. we can still add up more -- gone for bath, brush, shave, blah blah..

The busy status was also of many types.
Busy
Busy bee
Very busy - Don't disturb unless u have to
Aajkal log busy bhi tarah tarah se hote hai.. :D

The act of sleeping can also be depicted in many ways.
zzzzzzzz..
slumbering
sleeping
in my dreams
ninni aa rahi hai
unique sleeping for everyone.. :)

Then some urgings
Paplu pass karade koi
ek aur zero nahi..
koi mujhe Mr. prasad se mila de.
Maybe friends are God's other form

Some sayings
I have what I have given
I will try my best to keep the promise
We like people for their qualities; love them for their defects
Live as if u were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever
Popular quotes for people... free of cost.

Some confused souls
Puzzled
Lost in thought
We should atleast think on our own self
Bowled and out
Just doing nothing
Telling about themselves.. :)

It's a whole world in itself.. just read and think about the person. I will try to keep updating this post as I find some new, unique and great status messages.. :D

Alma mater

2005-11-01T13:47:00.000-08:00

The best place I ever had been.. and still long to be there.. :(

Names.. Names.. & Names... :-)

2005-10-29T13:31:00.000-07:00

haddi
baas
lamina
vicket
harsha bhogle
pencil
hanger
skeleton
lui
machchar
pole
y-axis
2-d
raj
kathyay ji
fan
raju guide
patlu bhaiya
fido dido
crook bond
sweetu

7 months left so will add up more.. :D
and if i have left some, additions are welcome... :P

What's missing..??

2005-10-07T03:09:00.000-07:00

Its home.
Sweet home.. but then also something was missing. I don't know what, but its like I was getting addict to some things which were not earlier a part of my life. These things which had no relation with me in starting. Then they became included in my life in the form of utilities, and now they are in my lifestyle. It seems that they have had such an impact on me that its simply unable to get rid of them....

It took me 3 full days to get out of the hangover, and found that my home was the same. I enjoyed it just as I used it before. It was at that moment, I realised how much I have been living with my computer.. How much time I had been spending on it..

For me it was 3 days and 2 novels to get over.. It could have been easily a month or year or never to fill the emptiness caused by abandoning the new idiot box from one's life.. It really takes you.. blog, orkut, mails, messenger, chat,.. hundreds of entrapments.. and you just get caught. Don't realise how simply, easily and effortlessly one is ripped of from his personal life, from gossips, from stars and from himself. When was the last time I thought about myself... ????!! When did I sat on roof top admiring the stars and the moon...

It was a horrible feeling, and since then, some things are becoming less important in my life. Somethings are again just utilities.. their effects are just diminishing in a wonderful sunrise which I hardly ever see in my normal academic session.
Is it "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind"...

R.N. 100 ;-)

2005-10-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

This is known as "MODERN ART"

Mirror.. (original of Anki)

2005-02-26T03:50:00.000-08:00

when I look into the mirror
I see a stranger there
I see a person with many masks there
I see one who has lost everybody

Still more I see deep into background
a child with dreams in his eyes
With eagerness to see this world
with all the anxiety in his eyes

But what stands in front of me is just
a stranger with similar face
a stranger of thoughts
a stranger of approaches
and altogether different attitude

what stands in front of me
is a person without a heart
a person without feelings
a person without life..

LIFE GOES ON..

2005-02-26T02:35:00.000-08:00

Whatever you do...or you don't do.
Whether you smile.. or u cry...
Whether u make frns.. or enemies
The life goes on...

Whether u think abt others or not
Whether others think abt u or not
Whether u live for others or not
The life goes on...

Whether you remember ur frns or not
Whether you get angry or not
Whether you eat food or not
The life goes on..

The life goes on.. as it has to
It doesn't stop for anyone as it hasn't to
It won't look what's up as it is it's nature
But in the end it does matter.

The life goes on.. as is has to
Whether or not you think abt ur nature
Whether or not you think abt ur behaviour
Whether or not you think abt ur character
But in the end it does matter.

You will go but your name will remain
You will go but your friends will remain
You will go but your memories will remain
So that's why in the end it does matter.

There is so much to do other than hatred
There is so much to do other than crying
There is so much to do other than envy
Coz. in the end it really does matter

The life goes on.. as is has to
and you go on as u are made to
But do think of what ur upto
as in the end it does matter.

The life goes on..

PARADISE IN GOA

2004-05-31T03:55:00.000-07:00

The day i came in GOA i fell ill and got the feeling that i am the most unlucky guy in the world . i was able to see the sea but i couldn't get in. For whole one week i couldn't enjoy the world i was in. Then somehow i got well and then from then i cannot even tell how much beautiful this place is. The sunshine beaches and the daily drizzles of this place are simply superb.